Keep reading if you are ready to learn about the 12 key mistakes you may be making that prevent you from being in a soulful relationship. Whether we admit it or not, our heart desires to love and be loved, our body likes it when we experience intimacy, and our soul feels nurtured when we are in a relationship with someone who is our evolutionary duo.
We know that relationships bring us our greatest joys and our greatest challenges. From a spiritual perspective, relationships are a perfect environment in which two people can come together to grow, share, reflect, nurture, evolve, work through any karmic issues, love and reach higher states of awareness. It is in the context of a relationship with another individual where we see clearly the disowned parts of ourselves, places in which we need to heal, and areas in our lives where we need to grow based on our triggers, blocks, habits, and patterns.
Many people feel lonely, fearful, and desensitised as a result of the pressures that come from external sources. We forget who we truly are, we disconnect from our spirit, and we develop that feeling that we can’t exist without the other person, that their existence and validation is required for us to feel happy, even complete.
We learn to resist, we get programed by people we love, the society we were born into, and before we know it we learn to block ourselves from accessing our best selves. This in turn also blocks the potential for further growth in the relationship, creates a toxic environment in which soulful relationship cannot exist, and unconsciously we become needy.
There are many ways to frame the role of relationships in your life, and some options are more empowering than others. Look at relationships one way, and you’ll find it difficult to relate to others.
But healing your heart chakra and changing our mindset in a certain way, and we’ll find ourselves attracting compatible people with relative ease. Healing the chakras and making mindset shift significantly improves personal relationships, including marriage, people you date, friendships, and even everyday encounters with total strangers. I’ll say up front that this is not an easy shift for most of us to make, but the results are well worth the effort.
Here are the 7 Key Relationship mistakes that keep you away from attracting the right guy, women or a partner and from being in a co-loving relationship:
- Acknowledgment that today we live in multidimensional relationships, partnerships and marriage. The relationships that our ancestors had are very different from the ones we have today. They are more complex than those in ancient times. The many roles people had in relationships have shifted, this shift in roles has created a lot of uncertainty, fear, and distrust.
- Hiding blemishes and weaknesses. For many this is a big challenge as we have been programmed to feel shame about things that we don’t perceive to be good. This then makes us hide part of ourselves from the fear of being rejected. The truth is if we hide part of ourselves we can never build the trust required for a soulful relationship.
- Losing our individuality. I had this pattern in my early years when I would emerge fully in relationship and would do anything in the name of Love. Little I knew of how I used Love as a form of control. When we do this we enter into a co-dependent relationship where the idea of being alone terrifies us. I also saw this pattern with many couples that I have coached who lose themselves in the relationship.
- Sticking to primitive survival patterns. When we do this our relationship lacks creativity, fun, growth, and we end up being consumed about how to make ends meet.
- Spiritually disconnected. If any of the partners are disconnected from their spiritual self, then neither of them are able to be and see the relationship through the lens of the soul.
- Not sharing each other’s secrets of what really works. This behaviour can cause a lot of turmoil in the relationship. Assuming that the other person knows what you think or feel only causes a further disconnect from one another.
- The other person must behave in a certain way. In order for you to feel loved or for you to love them, the other person must be who we need them to be. This is conditional love (as opposed to unconditional love), which doesn’t allow the other person to be who they really are: in other words, your happiness is dependent on them being how you want them to be.
- Blaming others for how you feel. We are actually responsible for how we feel and it’s not someone else’s responsibility to make us happy. We make ourselves happy first so that others can make us happy.
- You play caregiver. A healthy relationship is between two adults, not two children or one child and one parent. When we are mothering or taking care of someone who is not taking care of themselves, it’s disempowering for both people. When we spiritually grow up, we learn how to take care of ourselves so someone else doesn’t have to do it for us and we can live in our highest truth, not as a child or a victim or helpless. We are all capable.
- You’re controlling outcomes and situations. When we are controlling the other person or how things are unfolding, we are living in fear not in love. Surrender the relationship, surrender the other person’s process and what their choices are and trust that everything will unfold perfectly if you allow it to do so.
- You give from a place of lack. We might be putting ourselves last and focusing on the other person more than we do ourselves and we lose ourselves in the relationship. This pattern comes from a lack of self-love and when we try to give from an empty well, anger and resentment can build because we are not filling ourselves up first and giving from a place of abundance.
- You think your happiness is predicated on the other person. It’s not. Our happiness is within and when we stop searching for it in our partner, and instead connect with ourselves in a daily practice, we connect to our true source within and that happiness can overflow to the other person, rather than making them our only source.
The state of human relationships today is generally poor. No matter the level whether head of state to head of state, nation to nation or person to person there are many more mistakes and examples of strained and broken relationships.
Let me share with you the 7 Keys that I use to coach and heal couples, coaches and individuals from all walks of life to help them in their quest for creating, having and being in a deeper soulful relationship.
Use these 7 Keys to help you too establish an environment where you can create healthy, happy, and deep meaningful relationships that are soul bound, loving, and nurturing.
Key #1 Know the difference between the Limited Self or Infinite Self.
Key #2 Choose to adopt a Soulful Mindset towards your relationship.
Key#3 Make Daily Random Acts of Love.
Key#4 Commit to Build Trust, Certainty, and Transparency.
Key #5 Appreciate, Adore, and acknowledge each other’s presence.
Key #6 Learn to Communicate with Love.
Key #7 Have a Vison you both share and want to Achieve
I sincerely hope you use the 7 Keys and all of the knowledge, wisdom and the experiences shared to electrify your mindset, equip you with new awareness, and help you learn the rules that you can use in 2015 to have soulful relationship. Make sure you sign up to receive inspired news that can help you in your Soul Evolution, please go www.apathtowisdom.com
And if you are REALLY serious about evolving your soul and learn more about how to reach that state of being in which relationships are fun, joyful, and loving, definitely get reading the Amazon No 1 bestselling Book A Path to Wisdom available from major retailers such as Waterstones, Amazon (print and kindle), IBooks, or a signed copy directly from Tony.
To maximise the results, make sure you meditate daily. I’ve meticulously built TJS Evolutionary Meditation Solutions to help people in this journey. All the meditations are available from major online music stores, The Velvet Journey website or Itunes:
From Head Full of Noise to Blissful Mind: http://bit.ly/BlissfulMind
Awaken Your Inner Doctor: http://bit.ly/AwakenYourInnerDoctor
Open and Awaken Your Heart: http://bit.ly/AwakenYourHeart
Finally, give yourself the gift two hour clarity relationship coaching session or Energy Clearing Healing Session and let me facilitate the process required to help you create the desired soulful connection required to have an enriching, soul nurturing, and loving relationship.
Oh–and please remember, the way you start 2015 profoundly influences the way you’ll end it so definitely kick it into HIGH gear right now.
Love, live, learn, and grow. With appreciation and respect,
Tony J Selimi